The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer. Enjoy.

More Brotherly Love. Boarding a guy from behind is soooooo 2007, so the Philadelphia Flyers are on a mission to find new and exciting ways to try and earn lengthy suspensions. Like Steve Downie, who has already earned a 20-gamer this season, sucker-punching a guy with cancer Saturday night in Toronto. And like Derian Hatcher one night earlier in New Jersey, trying to moisturize Travis Zajac's cuticles by allegedly biting through his glove during a scrum.

The NHL's looking at the first situation, but has already decided not to punish Tyson Lecter Hatcher for the suspected chomping. Eric McErlain has the Flyers' weekend rap sheet with video links over on FanHouse, saying that "when the suspensions and fines get handed out this time, [Coach John] Stevens and [G.M. Paul] Holmgren need to get rung up. And it needs to hurt." And I'm saying that any fines that come their way will be settled out of Comcast's petty cash, so what's the point? If you really want send an anti-goon message, start suspending these players for a chunk of regular season games AND postseason games.

Back to Hatcher. As the CBC announcers said in the clip below, you always have to watch o...

Read the full post at Deadspin

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