JAN
30
Night of the Living 'Sheed [Nba Closer]
Posted January 30th ago via Deadspin
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The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and who has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not building a life-sized Dirk Nowitzki out of LEGOs, he can be found making fart jokes at Basketbawful. Enjoy!

• They did the monster mash. What does Mike Dunleavy Jr. think about Rasheed Wallace? "He's one of the most difficult guys in the league to guard. When he wants to be a monster, he's a monster." Well, you can bet junior will be asking his mommy to check in the closet and under his bed for at least a week after Wallace dropped 24 points, 10 rebounds, and about 1.4 metric tons of trash talk on him during the Pistons' 110-104 win over the Pacers. Actually, Dunleavy had a monster game himself (25 points, 7 rebounds, and 7 assists), but Wallace came up with two big blocks in the final minutes to help extend the Pacers' losing streak to four. P.S. Just exactly what is Larry Bird mutating into?

• Look at me, look at me! Chris Bosh really wants to be an All-Star, and since he couldn't earn a starting role through hilarity, he's trying to take a reserve spot by brute force. To that end, Howard beat on the Wizards like a side of raw beef on his way to 37 points, 12 rebounds, and 3 steals. However, fellow attention whore Antawn Jamison was all like, "Uh, excuse me, I'm All-Star quality too." 'Tawn tossed in 24 points and hauled in 20 [!!] rebounds as the Wizards scored a 108-104 overtime win over the Raptors. Jose Calderon, the "other" All-Star hopeful in Toronto, contributed 23 points and 13 assists, while Andray Blatche impersonated Caron Butler (who's out with ...

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