The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, a former college intramural freethrow shooting champion...25-for-25 baby! When he's not perfecting his stroke from the line - no double-entendre intended, as far as you know - he can be found studying the science of freethrowology at Basketbawful. Enjoy!

¢ Brandon Bass is my new favoritest person. Sure, the Mavericks suffered an embarrassing 101-82 loss in New Jersey, but Brandon Bass made up for it by living the dream of this writer, most NBA players, and pretty much every single Canadian citizen: Almost knocking Vince Carter the hell out with an elbow. "I saw stars, stripes, everything," said a still woozy Carter. "Green clovers, blue diamonds, orange stars, pink hearts, purple horseshoes, yellow moons...I'm telling you, those Mavericks are always after me Lucky Charms!" In addition to the fun hallucinations, the blow must have caused a case of short-term memory loss, because Carter forgot that he doesn't give a crap anymore and scored 25 of his 29 points after getting his clock cleaned. Jason Kidd auditioned for the role of "Dallas point guard" by going for 13 points and 14 assists, and Herr Nowitzki scored 21 for the Mavs, who fell victim to a 21-to-nothing run and once again proved they aren't above losing to a bad team in a totally humiliating fashion.

¢ Welcome to hell, Shawn. Dwyane Wade welcomed Shawn Marion to his own personal version of eternal torment yesterday, and I hate to ruin the surprise for you, but it ended in a 104-94 loss to the Lakers - the Heat's 22nd defeat in the last 23 games. The Black Mamba scored 33 for the Lakers, including a pair of freethrows with 36 seconds left that inspired the Miami crowd - all 42 of them - to chant "M-V-P." And we thought Wade couldn't possibly feel any worse. That had to be like coming home from work to find your kids chan...

Read the full post at Deadspin

• Bugs and Cranks Reactions to Pettitte's press conference Feb 19
• ArmchairGM Need a Cure for that Daytona/All Star Hangover? Check out Walker's Rants Feb 19
• Yahoo! Sports All-Stars miss fun-loving Shaq (AP) Feb 17
• NY Times Obstacles Remain in Kidd Trade Feb 19
• ProFootballTalk Rumor Mill NO QUARTERBACKS TO BE TAKEN IN TOP 20? Feb 19
• AOL Fanhouse Jason Kidd Traded to Dallas. Seriously. Feb 19
• Yardbarker Pressure on Pettitte, in many ways Feb 19
• NY Times Yanks Say Mitchell Report Didn’t Affect Pettitte Deal Feb 19