The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who generally shows up to work about 15 minutes late (he uses the side door so his boss doesn't see him). After that, he just sort of spaces out for an hour. Yeah, he just stares at his desk, but it looks like he's working. He does that for probably another hour after lunch too. In a given week, he probably only does about 15 minutes of real, actual work...and that's on Basketbawful. Enjoy!

¢ He even turns in his TPS reports on time. Manu Ginobili did everything for the Spurs in last night's 93-88 win over the Raptors. Literally everything. He scored a season-high 34 points. He grabbed a career-high 15 rebounds. He dished 6 assists. He handed out Gatorade during timeouts. He gave Tim Duncan a foot rub at halftime (no happy ending, though). He referred Gregg Popovich to a really good dermatologist. He even advanced his paladin to level 60 in World of Warcraft. "He can do everything," Toronto's Carlos Delfino said. "He can split atoms, turn pure evil into delicious buttermilk pancakes...did you know he actually traveled back in time to help me pass Geometry? True story." Duncan added 22 points and 13 rebounds, but only because Manu let him. The mighty dinos got a career-high 27 points out of Jose Calderon and 12 out of Andrea Bargnani. New player watch: Damon Stoudemire had 2 points (1-for-5), 4 rebounds and zero assists.

¢ So that means that every single day that you see me, that's the worst day of my life. And that certainly describes the last two days of the Mavs' collective life. One night after getting blasted by the Nets (22-29), the Mavericks scored 23 points in the second half - and only 10 in the fourth quarter! - and lost 84-76 to the Sixers (22-30). To summarize: That's two consecutive embarrassing losses to sub-.500 Eastern Conference teams. Yeah, we're gonna need to go ahead and move ...

Read the full post at Deadspin

• AOL Fanhouse The Bleaker Rankings: Yao Ming ... From Downtown? No Thanks Feb 19
• ArmchairGM To the People Who Don't Believe Baseball is a Sport... Feb 19
• Yahoo! Sports All-Stars miss fun-loving Shaq (AP) Feb 17
• Mr. Irrelevant Ryan Newman Has Friends in Low Places, Literally Feb 19
• Yardbarker The 22 Worst Dunks Ever* Feb 19
• The Sports Frog Kidd to Dallas v. 2.0 Feb 19
• AOL Fanhouse La Salle's Win Against Saint Joe's Could Mean Three Bids for Atlantic 10 Feb 19
• We Are The Postmen All-Star game fallout actually seems ... positive Feb 19