The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks most people are bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. When he's not busy hating the whole goddamn world, he can be found discussing the best of the worst of professional basketball at Basketbawful. Enjoy!

¢ Sweetheart, I find it amusing that you think you're so much as a blip on my radar. The Celtics traveled to Conseco Field House to put their three-game winning streak up against the Pacers' back-to-back wins. A battle of two hot teams, right? No, not really. The Pacers hung around - they're pesky like that - but eventually succumbed to the inevitable 104-97 loss. Mr. The Truth went off for 28 points and 12 boards, and Rajon "People Better Stop Comparing Me To Matt Maloney" Rondo had 12 points, 7 rebounds, and 7 assists. The Pacers got 18 points out of Danny Granger and a smattering of points and stuff from a bunch of other losers I couldn't care less about. Crappy "Franchise Player" update: Jermaine "The Drain" O'Neal missed his 12th straight game with a bad case of not wanting to play.

¢ Did you feel that you weren't quite annoying enough without adding a delusional sense of grandeur? Because I promise you, you were annoying enough. In fact, you're the number one contender for the Middle Weight Annoyance crown. After going 0-for-8 through three quarters, Chauncy Billups scored 12 points on 5-for-8 shooting in the fourth, and the Pistons rallied for a 94-90 win over the Atlanta Hawks. And now he's "Mr. Big Shot" again. "You know me man, you know me," Billups said. "Late in games, if I have an opportunity, I'm going to take advantage of that, whether I'm hot or not. I always feel like that fourth quarter is a different game." Yeah. I think this is as good a time as any to remind everybody that Billups came up several big shots short in consecutive playoff flops agai...

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