The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who cannot freaking believe that Devean George - Devean George!! - foiled Jason Kidd's trade to Dallas. Wow. When he's not paralyzed with disbelief, he can be found sitting there with his mouth hanging open at Basketbawful. Enjoy!

¢ McLovin's our friend! We should be guiding his cock, not blocking it! I know Will's covering the Jason Kidd non-trade, but I just had to say one thing: This is the single biggest cockblock in NBA history. I don't mean to come off like Bill Walton Jr., but damn. How does a guy who's making $2 million a year and is probably three months from being out of the league prevent a blockbuster trade for a first ballot Hall-of-Famer? And he had to play (and play badly) for Dallas the very same night. That's like showing up to family dinner a few hours after you decided to pull grandpa off of life support. Simply put, it's superdickery on a grand and historic scale. Okay. I'm done.

¢ That kid's a freak! He's a freak! He's the fasted kid alive! The Cavaliers sure couldn't keep up with Manu Ginobili, who ran circles around them by shooting 15-for-20 from the field - and 8-for-11 from the Land of Three - on his way to scoring a season-high 46 points. Thanks to Ginobili's flaming fingertips, the Spurs threw down 41 points in the fourth quarter to rally for a 112-105 win, despite a typically crazy-good game from Lebron (39 points, 6 rebounds, 9 assists) and another strong outing for the suddenly lifelike Larry Hughes (26 points, 11-for-19 shooting). New player watch: Damon Stoudamire had zero points (0-for-4), 3 rebounds, and 3 assists for the Spurs.

¢ Okay, calm down. Calm down, she likes you. She wants to suck on your penis. That's a good thing. It's the b...

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