FEB

14

Well, Patriot fans, it's been well over ten days since the Giants upset the Patriots, and I just thought I'd check in on you. How are you feeling? Are you okay? Is everything all right? I know how you Boston folks like to treat every loss as if it's something that saddens the entire world as a whole. I know how you can't possibly go on without someone offering you sympathy, as if you yourself were on the field for that loss. Surely that's the reason for the downward turn in the US economy. Sports fans in Boston are unhappy! Oh, what a tragedy! Everything feels so dark and cold! Quick, someone play a Des'Ree CD to cheer them up!

I'm just kidding, of course. I do not wish you Patriot fans a Happy Valentine's Day. Unless this is the day your girlfriend decides she's had it with you and the 500 empty tins of Kodiak you keep leaving around her apartment. I don't wish you a Happy Valentine's Day at all. But I will wish you a happy Eat A Fucking Bowl Of Dick' Day. Or a Get Run Over By A Fucking Cement Mixer' Day. Or a Get Your Klan Rally Petition Rejected By The Board Of Commerce' Day. Or a YOU FUCKING LOST' Day. Or a Why Don't You Take A Job As A Commercial Fisherman And Fucking Drown 500 Miles Off The Coast Of Nova Scotia In A Fierce Nor'Easter?' Day.

I hope you choke on rose stems. You fucking losers.

And, while we're here, let's tear that Simmons mailbag apart.

One gigantic disclaimer before we get to the collection of post-Super Bowl e-mails: I would have included more Giants-related e-mails if I had received more coherent ones -- 99 percent were of the "Hahhhhhhhhaahahahahaa! You suck!" or "18-1!!!!!" variety.

Yes, because no one from New York is creative at all! Such an unimaginative town! What do they do there, sell insurance? It would have been far p...

Read the full post at Kissing Suzy Kolber

• ProFootballTalk Rumor Mill WHERE WILL ASANTE LAND? Feb 17
• Bugs and Cranks Can the Red Sox back up Papelbon's boasts? Feb 17
• Yardbarker Asante Samuel's Two Choices: Eagles and Jets Feb 16
• The Sports Frog The Patriots' Players Reception at the Pro Bowl Feb 11
• Yardbarker Analysis of Samuel's impact on the Eagles, should they sign him Feb 09
• AOL Fanhouse Tom Brady Will Count $14.7 Million Against Patriots' 2008 Salary Cap Feb 09
• ArmchairGM Pats All Folks: Looking Ahead..... Feb 09
• Ball Hype Samuel expects to return to Patriots - The Boston Globe Feb 08