FEB

19

Say it to yourself a few times. "Pinky" "Pinky" Pin-ky" Once, when I was in college, I went to this party with my two best girl friends and we got really drunk and, well, one thing led to another and....(next morning over cup of lukewarm coffee) "you guys have to PINKY-SWEAR you will never tell anyone what happened last night!" And that was that...the most commital of all swears, the important and sacred pinky-swear. So Kobe is hurt and several questions arise over..."will he get surgery?", "how will this affect the success of the Lakers?", "will he wait it out and get the surgery after playoffs and a (pointlessly optimistic) championship?". I ask the more pressing and important question of "WHY THE HELL DO THEY CALL IT A *PINKYFINGER???" I mean, we are talking about a really TOUGH (some would argue), athletic, MANLY man...and in all seriousness hearing the reports over ESPN and all accredited sports reports that "Kobe requires surgery on his PINKY finger." Now how will he drink his white wine spritzer with pinky extended? So I looked it up online... why DO we call, even on the manliest of mans, the smallest finger on his hand a PINKY? Well, I've never heard anyone call it their anti-thumb! "One mill-yun dollars" A "Pinky Swear" traditionally was considered a binding contract. If you broke your contract, then you would have your "pinky" finger CUT OFF. I think his wife should have cut off his PINKY for breaking the binding contract called matrimony. Revenge of Shaq's toe? Ooooh! I can't wait for Wednesday! In China, you hold up your "baby finger" and you're giving someone the "bird". It is considered the same vulgar representation as the middle finger in the United States. I'm gonna start to do both now!!! Look, now I'm bi-lingual. (there's a word that sounds like it should mean something different) Reminds me of the time Raja Bell clothes-lined Kobe with his BIG FAT PINKY during the playoffs against the Suns in 2006. In India, it gets better. Holdin...

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